Sophie went all independent on me last night. I’m not sure it was because she was scarred from her recent fall of out of bed experience, or if she is secretly punishing me for taking me away from her dad. Last night, even though I set up the bed with extra precautions, Sophie preferred to spend the night on the couch downstairs. Now before you even think I’m overreacting, know this. Sophie is a creature of habit. She always sleeps in the same place, and she is my life line.
In spite of soaking in the tub and having a beautiful glass of cabernet I went to bed and I just couldn’t relax. Maybe it was Sophie not being there, maybe it was my anxiety, maybe I was just done all my heavy, recovery sleeps from travel. I spun in my. bed for three hours. Finally, I went downstairs and grabbed the Tylenol PM, and pushed my alarm back by an hour.
This morning Sophie acted completely natural as if nothing had happened any differently. When I said “good morning” she rolled over on her back and waited for the expected tummy kisses and cuddles which of course I gave I feel. exhausted but I’m trying not to hold a grudge. I made extra coffee and shared my breakfast with Sophie like I always do. She seems unaware that she has truly shaken the foundation of my confidence.
Today I will go for a long bike ride minus the groceries. Then I will take Sophie for her walk and make some chocolate chip cookies. I am scheduled for teletherapy today at a new school in Lewiston but I have yet to receive a schedule so I’m not sure if I’m actually working with students. Hannah and Dave graciously invited me for dinner later on. Other friends have offered to drive me but it is very far out of their way, so I’m not sure I will go. I hate to burden people. It is not in my DNA.
We will see how the day unfolds. Perhaps the coffee will work and my attitude will improve. It is hump day so things will might get easier. We will see what Sophie decides tonight and whether her mother lets her flex her independence or just brings her to bed and shuts the door.