Winter in Maine was surprisingly mild. I enjoyed reconnecting with old friends, spending time with my sons and living with my husband. He is really great as it turns out! The first month I was home felt like vacation. I was no longer solely responsible for daily activities, and rejoiced when Matthew made me a beautiful meal or offered to walk Sophie first thing in the morning. He and I have rediscovered how much we enjoy spending time together and it was really hard for me to think about returning to France when it was cold and wet all alone. This was particularly daunting in light of the fact that my neighbors–now redefined as brothers— were no longer living in the house next door.

After the holidays things took a turn. I endured a few tough months feeling a bit lost, depressed, and VERY middle-aged. The combination of menopause, an emptied nest and seasonal affective disorder really did a number on me. I was lucky to have the support of my husband, kids and friends and I have finally got my shit together enough to come back on my own and spend time in France.

I flew Easter Sunday and arrived Monday in Paris and then caught the train to Laval. Traveling is never easy alone with Sophie so I was more than relieved when I looked down the train platform and saw Matt and Dave. They whisked us back to their new home and Dave made a beautiful dinner. I had arranged to stay a couple of days with them because I knew that would make the transition easier.

France is green and Spring is firmly here. The daffodils have largely passed and the lilacs are starting to blossom. The fields of rape seed jar you with their yellow brilliance. The smell of cows, freshly spread manure, and baking bread from the boulangerie all welcomed me back to this corner of the world. Tomorrow Sophie and I will head to St. Denis and I will get the fires going, fill my fridge and play in my garden.