Lily and I woke up early on Saturday and we decided to get up and have a complete morning in the city before we had to start our journeys home. We walked and walked back towards the Seine. Our feet were recovered after the rest so I was no longer limping. The weather was humid, clear and windy. I was wearing my new jeans and sweater which may have not been the right pick for the weather but I felt Paris appropriate.

We passed open air markets tucked along the street and found stalls with cheese, fruits, vegetables, spices, and leather bags. We were looking for a sit down breakfast so we kept on past the intoxicating aromas of boulangeries and found ourself reading restaurant menus in search of eggs. Obviously, I wouldn’t be looking for eggs but Lily was. Ultimately we selected a cafe advertising omelettes and crepes. that was across from Notre Dame. This cafe had a wall of windows overlooking the cathedral and the river. I chose a galette which is a buckwheat crepe stuffed with mozarella, spinach and mushrooms. Lily had a crepe with egg, ham and Swiss. These were delicious! I can’t express how yummy it was.

With fuel in our bellies we continued our walk and noticed all the shops weren’t yet open. Stores in France and apparently in Paris open later than we are used to. Actually, they seem to open whenever the hell they want. We wandered to the Luxembourg gardens. It is so beautiful there. I think we were both feeling our impending goodbye and we decided to sit down on a bench and just be together for a while.

Lily and I decided more shopping might cure our blues. We headed to Brandy Melville and along the way found several beautiful clothing boutiques. I bought some fabulous and very French looking pants. Lily found a couple of tops. We checked my watch and realized we needed to hightail it back to the hotel to make check out at 12:00. Lily had the idea to use a scooter so we both climbed on one and raced along the streets. At first we were going fast but our scooter lost its charge and we had to bail and start running.

There is nothing like running in a new sweater and feeling the sweat run down your back. We got there with 2 minutes to spare, checked out and started to prepare for our trips to Exeter and St. Denis de Gastines. Lily had to take the metro to the airport and I was taking the metro to Montparnasse. We were able to share the same train for a few stops and honestly the stress of having to get to our destinations was a blessing because we couldn’t get too emotional about saying goodbye.

It had been a spectacular and slightly difficult week. Lily and I both have high expectations and want the best for each other. I find myself twisting into a pretzel to try to make her happy and I think she often feels the same. Perhaps its because we are so alike, maybe because we know each other so well. Our highs are so good and yet I can become unraveled so easily when we are together.

I think I am still so new at listening to my heart and taking care of myself that I get confused when I’m with the people I love. Instinctively, I want to give more of myself than I should and yet part of me knows that I am changing and really can’t go back to how it was. I am still finding out how to balance. I know I can love myself and others without hurting, I’m just learning to find my feet. Baby steps I guess.