I’m back. Online, in France, and writing. I had a full and busy summer in Maine and returned just a couple of days ago to figure out how I would like this French experience to continue. It has not been all bread, cheese and ease.

At Logan, when Matthew dropped me off, I was aware that I was more reluctant to let go of his hand than I had ever been before. It isn’t that I wasn’t excited to see my friends and be back in my little house. It was that I now have a better understanding of what physically being away from him means. The tears came as fast as I wiped them away.

I walked through security ugly crying and I was unable to get myself together for quite a while. The woman at security didn’t know what to do with me. She mumbled something about “goodbyes being hard” and ushered me and Sophie through. I think if Sophie had been a large sword she would have probably done the same thing.

Travel is hard. It is especially hard with 2 suitcases, a puppy and carrier, an overstuffed back pack and 90 degree heat. I arrived in Laval after a couple of train swaps to the waiting hugs from Dave and Matt. I was sweaty, sleep deprived, and a bit tentative about my purpose here in France. The boys fed me a beautiful meal and we reconnected. Immediately after eating, I stumbled to bed and woke up 14 hours later.

The last two days and nights have proven challenging. I have grocery shopped, climbed on the Peloton, and brought my family pictures out from storage. Sophie and I have played in the garden, gone for walks and arranged flowers. Admittedly, I did all of the flower arranging. The second night I was wide awake and felt like I slept ten minutes. Last night again, I was in a 14 hour coma from I just recently awoke.

So how does it feel to be back? I’m not entirely sure. I love being back in contact with my neighbors but I can’t ignore the fact that they are actually going to move in a couple of months. Not far, but a distance which will make my evening pajama visits unlikely. I am happy to walk the trails with Sophie off leash but I wonder if her freedom makes up for being away from her family. I love my home and garden but miss my people.

I am trying to get my feet underneath me as Friday I will travel to the U.K. to help Lily get settled. I’d like to be more useful to her than I currently am. I must get off and walk my sweet puppy. She is tired of my writing and wants to run the trails.